From all the pain, i'm so ashamed
Aug 30, 2014 10:02:52 GMT -6
Post by templebar on Aug 30, 2014 10:02:52 GMT -6
F L A M B E
He wandered through the deadly quiet forest, the tall trees loomed over him and just swayed slightly so that only a small rustling as the pine needles moved above and his long slender limbs dragged through the needle carpet on the ground. Despite it being early morning there was no sounds of life to be heard around, no birds singing or animals waking from their sleep and going their way. His golden orbs glanced around nervously, he had a feeling of being watched, but he could see all around him that there was no one out there, he was alone as usual making his way to the small pool that he knew was up ahead, he had lived here alone for a while now, just going about his own business. Although it could not be said that he was really living here, it was more like just surviving. Every day had a checklist of things to do and he just went about ticking them off, mostly it was as simple as get up, eat, drink, doze through the day, eat, drink and sleep again.
He came out of his thoughts as he approached the pool which was little more than a large puddle really but it worked for what he needed and there was usually some grass around it. However it was under the trees and at this time of year meant it was of little value and as such the already slight stallion had lost weight and his ribs were easily visible alone his side and his hip stuck out making it look strange, his bay coat had lost its silky shine that he had through the summer. He lowered his darker muzzle to the water, long flaxen locks falling forward over his face into the dark grey liquid to drink. His eyes were closed as he drank and for the moments after as he just stood there breathing, although each breath seemed to come to him harder and harder.
He opened his eyes and saw his reflection upon the water’s surface, it was blurred as the water still rippled from droplets falling from his lips. Slowly it began to clear and he saw his face clearly, golden eyes staring back at himself, why did he feel so empty? It was like his head was full of air there were no thoughts or feelings, just him stood there looking at himself. He felt like this frequently and that his life was just a boring set of tasks to be completed with no other thoughts needed to carry them out. But despite his head feeling empty and full of air, one feeling that he almost always had was a feeling of claustrophobia and being trapped within his own body as if he was too much to filled the skin that enclosed him and then this body was trapped upon the earth to be a show for anyone who saw the tormented soul inside. He was better off alone, even if others said he wasn't he knew he could not cope being around anyone else.
He threw his muzzle back down at the water to break the still surface that showed his reflection and suddenly it was like a tap turned on as the emotions flooded back into his brain. He let out a high pitched growl which turned into a wail out of frustration, his head turned up skyward his wet mane fell back down his neck. “WHY?” He cried out. “Why do you make me feel this way.” This time quieter as a tear rolled down out of his eye, he lowered his head to the ground and sobbed, he did not really know why he was crying but he was. Mostly it was out of frustration for not feeling like he was normal and that his life was not normal but without being able to do anything about it. Though he did not want help, despite offers throughout his life, they just wanted their time to stand and stare at the stallion who was more like a mare.
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Comments: I have just decided Christina Aguilera - Beautiful is his song, listen and watch the video.
